Written by: Robert Hill, Jack Dewitt,
and Willis O'Brien
Directed by: Edward Nassour and Ismael
Rodriguez
Starring:
Guy Madison as Jimmy Ryan
Patricia Medina as Sarita
Carlos Rivas as Felipe Sanchez
Dinosaurs. I'm willing to bet a solid
majority of us b-movie fans can trace our love of monsters back to a
childhood obsession with the terrible lizards that ruled our planet
for hundreds of millions of years. I certainly can. My earliest movie
theater memories are Godzilla vs. the Cosmic Monster
and Journey to the Beginning of Time.
Talk about truth being stranger than fiction! You dig up a picture of
the craziest, most outlandish monster from any movie or Ultraman
episode you've ever seen, and I guarantee you I can top it with an
actual animal from Earth's prehistory.
Thus
it is that I'm kicking off 2015 by joining Checkpoint Telstar by
celebrating one of the underdogs of the dinosaur world, the
Allosaurus. Today, the
Checkpoint is discussing the best cowboys vs. Allosaurus
movie ever made, while I will be handling the worst cowboys vs.
Allosaurus movie ever
made. Mind you, there were only ever two cowboys vs. Allosaurus
movies made, this dinosaur theme was Tim's idea so he got to pick the
good stuff, and, well, it does say “masochist” right there in the
title, doesn't it? Interestingly, the two cowboys vs. Allosaurus
movies both come, via the rather circuitous route of Hollywood's
digestive system, from the same original script by legendary
stop-motion artist Willis O'Brien, mirroring the story of how several
collections of fossils originally thought to be from different
dinosaurs all turned out to belong to Allosaurus
in the end. Funny the ways in which art imitates life, eh?
The
first known Allosaurus
fossils were sent to astoundingly prolific anatomy and natural
history professor Joseph Leidy by fossil collector Ferdinand
Vandiveer Hayden (incidentally, I cannot recommend highly enough the
book Legacy of the
Mastodon
by Keith Stewart Thomson if you're interested in the history of
American paleontology) in 1869. Initially Leidy lumped it in with an
existing genus, but later decided to promote it to its own genus,
Antrodemus.
Several
years later, Othniel Charles Marsh gave the name Allosaurus
to a different set of fossils, and he and his bitter rival Edward
Drinker Cope went on a terribly unscientific spree of making up as
many new genus and species as they could from extremely incomplete
collections gathered throughout the American West. This sort of
publish-first-study-evidence-later behavior was so much the norm in
the early days of natural history that it's really quite amazing they
ever managed to establish a proper science out of it at all. If I go
too much farther into it here I'm going to end up writing a thesis
paper instead of a movie review, so suffice to say a great deal of
those fossils wound up belonging to the same animal, and after
several rounds of back-and-forth between Antrodemus
and Allosaurus,
the
scientific community and popular opinion landed on Allosaurus
and here we are.
We
meet our heroes Jimmy and Felipe, along with their head ranch hand
Manuel, searching for a herd of lost cattle in the swampy area around
Hollow Mountain, an area said by the locals to be cursed. The
superstitious Manuel is convinced that whatever demonic entity
occupies the titular geographic landmark has eaten them. The more
pragmatic Felipe, on the other hand, is convinced that their
competitor Don Enrique has either stolen their cattle or simply
driven them into the swamp to drown. The evidence would seem to
suggest Felipe is closer to the mark when they find a steer that
appears to have been driven into the swamp on purpose to mislead the
ranchers. More on this later, as Felipe nearly drowns in a patch of
quicksand, and Jimmy calls a halt to their search to head back to
town and regroup.
Here it is that we meet Pancho and Panchito, a father/son combo who
simultaneously provide the comic relief and the heart of the human
drama of the story. I don't think it's actually supposed to be the
heart of the human drama, but these two are much better characters
than our supposed heroes, so I prefer to think this story is about
them and the boring love triangle bullshit is the B plot. Our
introduction to the duo is Panchito trying to talk his drunk father
out of leaving the local tavern and come back to the house to sleep
off a drunken bender that we can infer has lasted for rather a long
time. Pancho gets funny fat guy music to dispel any doubts we may
have about his place in the world, as if being a drunk fat guy with a
droopy mustache isn't enough of a cue in a movie like this. But then
we get the much more human scene of Pancho telling his son that he
drinks to forget Mrs. Pancho, who is in heaven. Already we get a
taste of the schizophrenic way these characters will be presented,
with stupid oompah music presenting the comedic Mexican drunk
(because it wouldn't be as funny if it was a white guy), immediately
followed by giving him a brutally depressing real-life reason for
drinking while simultaneously portraying the no-more-than-10-year-old
Panchito as not only having lost his mother but having to take care
of his drunk father. And then we get a scene of the fat drunk guy
comedically attempting to mount a horse immediately followed by his
falling off the horse in a scene that it would be a miracle if the
stunt man survived without a broken neck!
Luckily Jimmy is riding through town at this moment so he can rescue
Pancho and gain his life-long loyalty. If only Pancho knew how short
a lifespan he had left to him. But sure enough, the next morning he
and Panchito are at Jimmy and Felipe's ranch, milking cows and
feeding ducks, to show their commitment to Pancho's savior. Pancho
even promises to give up drinking so he can continue to work on the
ranch. Of course, his loyalty overtakes his common sense so that he
runs off into the swamp to hunt for Jimmy's cattle, and he becomes
the first victim of the dinosaur that will soon be causing problems
for everyone involved.
Meanwhile,
Jimmy has a confrontation with Don Enrique, once more accusing him of
cattle rustling, while Enrique slams Jimmy right back about
undercutting his prices and stealing his business. He seems genuinely
confused and frustrated at Jimmy's continued accusations of
cownapping, but hell, if he's destined to be the bad guy of the piece
anyway, he may as well play the part. And when he sees his
bride-to-be Sarita riding into town the next day on the back of
Jimmy's horse (the Allosaurus
ate hers, but they don't know that yet and think it just ran away),
he seals the deal with fisticuffs and a dastardly plan.
On the day of the wedding of Sarita to
Don Enrique, a couple of hired guns are all set to cause a stampede
of Jimmy and Felipe's herd outside of town to ruin their business
once and for all. Meanwhile, the large congregation of cattle has
tempted the ravenous Allosaurus
out of its swamp, and the creature sets off the stampede early so
it's headed straight for the town. Can Jimmy stop the cattle and the
dinosaur before it's too late? Well, it's the 50's, so probably
yeah.
The big complaint
about this movie is that it takes forever to get to see the dinosaur.
Where most movies of this sort would at least give us glimpses of
the creature here and there to get us excited for the main action,
Beast of Hollow Mountain keeps the monster completely off
screen until the movie is damn near over. Obviously that was done
just to save money, but it has an effect on the story that I don't
think the filmmakers intended. It makes Don Enrique seem not at all
villainous. Our only visual cues that he's supposed to be the bad
guy is that he wears dark colors and has a very well-groomed bad guy
mustache and slicked back hair. On the other hand, he's getting
married to the tough, independent daughter of the richest guy in the
area. She doesn't seem very enthused about it, like it's more a
marriage of convenience because they're both rich and what else would
she do, marry a poor guy out of love? But she never seems to hate or
fear him, and she's definitely not the type that would put up with
any kind of abuse, so he's definitely not some kind of domineering
monster. When it comes to dealing with Jimmy, well, constantly being
accused of being a violent criminal by your upstart business rival
would piss off everyone. Even when Jimmy says he follows government
pricing and Enrique overcharges for his beef and does dirty deals
under the table, we have no evidence that this is true other than
it's a white guy accusing a Mexican. That may have been enough in
1956 to make it clear cut, and even today we're geared to root for
the little guy over the big businessman, but all the evidence here
points to Don Enrique being rich and successful simply because he's
good at what he does, and after months of incessant needling by some
chump whose business is failing because he had the godawful shitty
luck to set up his ranch as a buffet for a dinosaur, finally just
throws up his hands and says, “Fuck it, you want me to be the bad
guy? I'll be the goddamn bad guy then if it'll get me rid of you,
you little bastard. And stop making eyes at my girl!”
It's not high
drama, but it made all the sitting around waiting for the dinosaur to
show up a lot more interesting than it probably would have been
otherwise. In fact, once the dinosaur shows up, it almost makes you
wish the drama would come back. The fact that our first glimpse of
the dinosaur is a stuntman wearing a pair of dinosaur feet that are
slightly less convincing than those plush Godzilla slippers you can
get from Toy Vault sets the mood nicely for the disappointment to
follow. While there is a little bit of true stop-motion using an
articulated puppet that looks very much like an O'Brien designed
creature, the great majority of the beast's scenes are done using a
much cheaper and faster technique called replacement animation. This
is done using a series of static figures, each sculpted in a slightly
different posture. Put one down, shoot a couple of frames, put the
next one in the series down, shoot a couple frames, etc.
The biggest
downside to this is the replacement animation figures are much
smaller and far less detailed than the articulated head used for the
closeups, so there's a huge gap in quality between the two (and the
less said about those feet the better). There is one sequence of
Jimmy and Enrique on horseback being chased by the dinosaur that
actually looks pretty damn good aside from the shoddy matte job,
where the movement of the creature is very fluid and lifelike as it
runs. Unfortunately, it must have been decided that when the dinosaur
was just walking it didn't look dynamic enough, so more body movement
was required to make it look more realistic. The result is that it
constantly waggles its apparently three-foot-long tongue around like
Gene Simmons and rolls its hips in a ridiculously jaunty swagger.
It's dino burlesque!
This was the first movie to use
stop-motion animation and be shot in color and Cinemascope
widescreen, so that may go some way toward explaining why they didn't
have any money to spend on the dinosaur, but I think at the end of
the day it would have been a better business decision to go black and
white and have a better looking creature. It has sort of the opposite
effect of watching The Land Unknown,
which sacrificed color film for production value. Instead of
wondering why a movie that should be cheap looks comparatively
lavish, with Beast you
find yourself captivated by the sweeping vistas and great
cinematography, only to be brought crashing back to reality by those
goofy floppy monster feet.
Now head on over to Checkpoint Telstar for some more Allosaurus action!
Now head on over to Checkpoint Telstar for some more Allosaurus action!
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